Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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