i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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