So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
