No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
