Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
