Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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