Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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