i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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