Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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