Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
