his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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