worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
