Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
