i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
