Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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