Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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