you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hate all girls vehemently.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
