I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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