i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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