their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
