I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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