She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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