is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
