whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
