Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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