That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So squirting runs in the family.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
