Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
they need to just BURY HIM!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
