I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
