Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
