I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
