I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
