so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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