Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
