Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
