Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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