She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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