doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
