The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
