He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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