my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
