My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize