Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
