Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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