i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dignity is for republicans.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
