too bad you live with your parents still
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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