there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
