Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
