dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize