an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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