Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
