who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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