Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
