Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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