id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
