do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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