Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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