I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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