SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize