Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
