What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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