Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
