Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This is classic penis vs brain.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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